Neil Straus is an American author, journalist, and also ghostwriter. He is also well recognized by his pen names Style and Chris Powles
Neil Strauss is a bestselling author & transformational journalist. His books The Game, Rules of the Game, Emergency, and Everyone Loves You When You're Dead - have been on the of the New York Times bestsellers list. He can be found at Neil Strauss
We've put together an incredible collection of Neil Strauss quotes to read.
Here they are:
List of Inspiring Neil Strauss Quotes
"Attraction is not an option."
"In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.”
“We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes, it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it.”
"Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it's a relationship, a business or a hobby.”
"If there was anything I'd learned, it's that the man never chooses the woman. All he can do is give her an opportunity to choose him."
"Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we are. But, by believing in our nobler nature, women have the amazing power to inspire us to live up to it.”
"After all, everyone's favorite subject is themselves.”
"The strong live off the weak and the clever live off the strong."
"It’s not lying, it’s flirting.”
“One of the things I'd learned ... was how to take a compliment. Just say, "Thank you." It's the only response a confident person can make.”
“Most people seem to believe that if a relationship doesn't last until death, it's a failure. But the only relationship that's truly a failure is one that lasts longe than it should. The success of a relationship should be measured by it's depth, not by it's length.”
“Lying is about controlling someone else’s reality, hoping that what they don’t know won’t hurt you.”
“there are only so many ways to get rejected or ignored. It doesn't hurt at all anymore because why should someone who's a complete stranger have any control over your sense of selfworth?”
“A healthy relationship is when two individuated adults decide to have a relationship and that becomes a third entity. They nurture the relationship and the relationship nurtures them. But they’re not overly dependent or independent: They are interdependent, which means that they take care of the majority of their needs and wants on their own, but when they can’t, they’re not afraid to ask their partner for help.” She pauses to let it all sink in, then concludes, “Only when our love for someone exceeds our need for them do we have a shot at a genuine relationship together.”
“We're just fragile machines programmed with a false sense of our own importance. And every now and then the universe sends a reminder that we don't really matter to it...”
“Because, all too often, the things that we're the most resistant to are precisely what we need. And the things we're most scared to let go of are exactly the ones we most need to relinquish.”
“There are certain bad habits we've groomed our whole life -- from personality flaws to fashion faux pas. And it has been the role of parents and friends, outside of some minor tweaking, to reinforce the belief that we're okay just as we are. But it's not enough to just be yourself. You have to be your best self. And that's a tall order if you haven't found your best self yet.”
“I've never trusted collaborations, because most people in this world are not closers. They don't finish what they start; they don't live what they dream; they sabotage their own progress because they're afraid they won't find what they seek.”
“The sins of the parents are the destinies of their children. Unless the children wake up and do something about it.”
“In the dance of infatuation, we see others not as they are, but as projections of who we want them to be. And we impose on them all the imaginary criteria we think will fill the void in our hearts.”
“To win the game was to leave it.”
“In fact, every woman I met seemed disposable and replaceable. I was experiencing seducer's paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women. Success was no longer defined by getting laid or finding a girlfriend, but by how well I performed.”
“They say that love is blind, but it’s trauma that’s blind. Love sees what is.”
“One of the reasons I became a writer is that, unlike starting a band, directing movies, or acting in a theatrical production, you can do it alone. Your success and failure depend entirely on yourself.”
“used to think that intelligence came from books and knowledge and rational thought. But that’s not intelligence: It’s just information and interpretation. Real intelligence is when your mind and your heart connect. That’s when you see the truth so clearly and unmistakably that you don’t have to think about it. In fact, all thinking will do is lead you away from the truth and soon you’ll be back in your head, groping with a penlight in the dark again.”
“A rich man doesn't need to tell you he's rich.”
“There is a downside to casual sex: Sometimes it stops being casual. People develop a desire for something more. And when one person's expectations don't match the other person's, then whoever holds the highest expectations suffers. There is no such thing as cheap sex. It always comes with a price.”
“Intimacy is sharing your reality with someone else and knowing you’re safe, and them being able to share their reality with you and also be safe.”
“In this life, we don't meet many people who truly love us, who accept us for who we are, who put us before themselves.”
“Then again, no matter what your point of view may be, you can always find someone with a Ph.D to support it.”
"It's not enough to just be yourself. You must be your best self"
"A lot of guys are very intimidated by an attractive woman, and they dehumanise her because our culture perceives beautiful women as commodities. But I think if you're able walk up to a person and get to know them, and you see their flaws and their impurities, and realise that they're like you, then you can humanise them again."
"You have to build systems to protect against your lesser self."
" To get a woman, you have to be willing to risk losing her."
"The good thing is that women have such high expectations of men that it inspires us to live up to them. That's what I learned about male-female relationships."
"True endurance, I think, comes from the inside. It comes from motivation and belief in what you're doing."
"Life is more fun when you open your mouth."
"Men are a hundred times worse than you can imagine. We are thinking the worst, shallowest thoughts, all the time."
"We make fun of those we're most scared of becoming."
"I know that I need honesty from the people I interview. I also know that the truth is more interesting than made up stuff, and also, people don't connect with you if you're not honest."
"Fear makes you docile."
"Instead of putting others down, try improving yourself instead. The only person you have a right to compete with is you. In the meantime, treat others how you'd like to be treated. One trait that some of the best (communicators) share is empathy. A couple of kind words can not only make a person's day, but earn you a friend and supporter for life. For the rest of the week, whenever you see someone you want to judge negatively, pay them a compliment instead. See what happens."
"I've begun to look at the world through apocalypse eyes. Our society, which seems so sturdily built out of concrete and custom, is just a temporary resting place, a hotel our civilization checked into a couple hundred years ago and must one day check out of."
"When the Internet first came into public use, it was hailed as a liberation from conformity, a floating world ruled by passion, creativity, innovation and freedom of information. When it was hijacked first by advertising and then by commerce, it seemed like it had been fully co-opted and brought into line with human greed and ambition."
"A pick-up artist gave me a good piece of advice: the three most important things in a relationship are honesty, trust and respect, and if you don't have those, you don't have love."
"I think my love is storytelling. No matter what it is, it's storytelling. And so whatever the medium is, what's right for the story, I enjoy doing it."
"Never ask a woman if you may kiss her. Instead, learn to read body language."
"Anyone who hates something feels threatened by it. A guy who says he hates feminism (a) doesn't understand or know feminism, and (b) is scared of powerful women. Most attacks come from fear."
"A lot of women - not all of them, a lot of them - feel insecure about men being men."
"Fame won't make you feel any better about yourself."
"Almost everyone who reaches a plateau where he or she is happy and comfortable says its because of finding balance between work, relaxation, exercise, socialising and family - plus some alone time to do something contemplative, creative, or educational."
"But who are we, really? Just a bundle of good genes and bad genes mixed with good habits and bad habits. And since there's no gene for coolness or confidence, then being uncool and unconfident are just bad habits, which can be changed with enough guidance and will power."
"Alcohol has never caused anyone to do something they didn't want to do. It only enables them to do what they've always wanted but have instead repressed."
"While I am impulsive in many areas of my life, marriage is not one of them."
"Accepting others' life choices is something most people only learn with age."
"Your intention for a book is never the same as the reception."
"I want to learn martial arts," he said docilely, "so when I want to kill someone, I can do something about it."
"Rapport equals trust plus comfort."
"I've noticed a pattern in stars that start acting out in public. Every one of them felt like they grew up without love."
"We get stuck in old thought and behavior patterns that may have been effective when we were twelve months or twelve years old, but now only serve to hold us back. And, while those around us may have no problem correcting our minor flaws, they let the big ones slide, because it would mean attacking who we are."
"People don't come out for book events. They want to feel an emotion and be entertained."
"Most robots don't program themselves."
"I think there are just a million interviews in anthologies with famous musicians that are about the music, and they're really boring to read."
"Never underestimate your own capacity to care."
"He was telling the students about the hypnotic technique of using quotes in a conversation. An idea is more palatable ... if it comes from someone else. The unconscious thinks in terms of content and structure. If you introduce a pattern with the words, 'My friend was telling me,' the critical part of her mind shuts off."
"One of the reasons I became a writer is that, unlike starting a band, directing movies, or acting in a theatrical production, you can do it alone. Your success and failure depend entirely on yourself."
"That's how hatred is created: two different groups, each insisting they're on the moral high ground"
"I always wanted to interview Michael Jackson, because I just wanted to humanize him."
"I feel like rock stars feel a sense of entitlement, whereas I just feel a sense of good fortune."
"When it comes to meeting and attracting women, many men are resigned and complacent. We figure some guys were born with that particular power and other guys weren't. I wasn't."
"I've seen rock stars agonize over the fact that another artist has far more Facebook 'likes' and Twitter followers than they do."
"When I look down at my pale, skinny body, I wonder why any woman would want to sleep next to it, let alone embrace it."
"You need to be careful with a Bluetooth headset. Because some guys look crazy with them."
"A good organizer is key to anyone with a busy social life."
"God is on the side of the winner."
"Because it's so easy to medicate our need for self-worth by pandering to win followers, 'likes' and view counts, social media have become the metier of choice for many people who might otherwise channel that energy into books, music or art - or even into their own Web ventures."
"Those who ask for help are often those who have failed to do something for themselves."
Discover the best strategies of successful business owners
Join our newsletter and receive our handcrafted recap with the best insights shared by founders in Starter Story each week.
Useful, convenient, and free:
Did you know that brands using Klaviyo average a 95x ROI?
Email, SMS, and more — Klaviyo brings your marketing all together, fueling growth without burning through time and resources.
Deliver more relevant email and text messages — powered by your data. Klaviyo helps you turn one-time buyers into repeat customers with all the power of an enterprise solution and none of the complexity.